Two Days Away From The Time Paradox

Eoin Colfer's Artemis Fowl book series is mostly popular with the pre-teen boy set, but it's without a doubt one of my favorite young adult book series. The mediocre fifth book The Lost Colony was released two years ago, and it's finally time for the latest installment: The Time Paradox, which will be released on July 15.

Borders has the prologue and first chapter online, though I haven't been able to bring myself to read past the prologue. Colfer has stated there won't be another Artemis Fowl book for at least three years (though he hasn't sworn off the series), and so I'm savoring the sweet feel of total anticipation. Consider the entire link a major spoiler alert and go merrily about your business.

If you're in or near Fairfax, Virginia, the Borders there will be simulcasting Colfer's "Faeries, Fiends and Flatulence" performance at 8:00 p.m. on July 15. A large handful of other stores are broadcasting it as well, so check the full list on the slow-loading ArtemisFowl.com. Here's the promotional video:



If there's no good celebratory bash near you, just order the book through Amazon. For $12.00, it's a fairly cheap hardback that will likely beat your local prices. Definitely check out the series if you haven't before; the paperback copy of the original book sells for about three dollars.

Free Printed Photos Are Always Nice

So I tend to avoid having my digital photographs printed, using the eternally appropriate excuse of, "I'm not done editing them yet." The other half of that excuse is that printing photographs takes money, and poor college students might as well save their dollars for good concerts and admire their photos on flickr and nowhere else.

Today, though, I got an envelope full of basically free photographs in the mail, courtesy of Shutterfly. They're a pretty nice website, but when I signed up I wasn't expecting anything more than the usual online image printing service.

Every week or so, they send you an e-mail with some sweet deal in it. Honestly nice things, like free shipping or 25% off anything if you order in the next three days. The best offers, though, are free prints. Today's mail came as a result of a 15 free print order... all I had to do was pay for shipping. Since I had photographs from the Unlimited Enthusiasm Expo already edited and ready to print, I ran a few quick crops, paid the $2.04 for shipping and taxes, and placed my order.

The photographs arrived today nicely packaged and looking pretty good. I'd forgotten the honest feel of printed photographs; all of the yellows in my shots really stood out in a way they hadn't on a computer screen. I have no complaints about the prints and hadn't expected them to arrive until next week (I ordered on July 8), so bonus points to them.

I would definitely recommend signing up for a Shutterfly account, even if you don't plan on purchasing many photo prints. Their regular prices are usually 19 cents for a 4x6 (only 15 cents for the summer), but the real draw here are the weekly offers which make it well worth your while. These guys seriously love to give away free prints... almost anything you do on their site can earn you more freebies. Right now you can get free prints just by adding one of your photos to a map. Isn't free stuff awesome?

I'm not sure if other digital photo companies do this, but I intend to find out. When I have time, I'll run a full comparison -- probably in September. Most companies have enticing sign-up gifts, so I've waited to sign up for new accounts until I have cleanly edited photographs ready and waiting. I'll keep careful records of all the offers I receive from now until then and look at prices and everything. It'll be grand.

If you have a digital image printing service to recommend, or thoughts on ones you've tried, let me know in the comments! I look forward to seeing which ones fight for their customers the most.

A Weekend of Stand-Up Comedy

Television stations often use holiday weekends to run marathon-style programming, and Comedy Central is taking full advantage of the Fourth of July as an excuse to show nothing but stand-up comedy specials. Seriously, all weekend long -- the programming started this morning and ends Sunday night.

Saturday's schedule can be found here and Sunday's schedule is less exciting but here.

Now, as great as the marathon is, chances are you don't plan to spend your entire day in front of the television (and I hope that's the case). But that's why God invented TiVo, right?

Most of the good stuff is on Saturday. And by good stuff, I mean stuff that I've seen and laughed at. Sunday's specials might be just as good, but I've only seen Lewis Black's and Dat Phan's. So here are my recommendations for tomorrow:

Maria Bamford @ 11 a.m.
A very funny lady with a wealth of character voices and priceless stories.

Jim Gaffigan @ 2 p.m.
I'm not sure what material this special will cover, but he's definitely a laugh.

Nick Swardson @ 3:30 p.m.
You probably don't realize that you've seen him in movies -- often as a raving fanboy. His first special was hysterical, and I imagine this will be as well.

Mike Birbiglia @ 5 p.m.
I haven't seen his hour long special, but his Comedy Central Presents was good stuff.

Demetri Martin @ 8 p.m.
His one liners remind me of Mitch Hedberg, plus he plays guitar and makes drawings. His hour long special has a lot of good moments.

I realize now that I am utterly unqualified to describe comedy. I couldn't come up with descriptions for most of these performers -- rather like how I started out writing vague music reviews. So just trust me on these, okay? They'll make you laugh. Even if I can't tell you why.

If you have a better description for any of those comedians, leave it in the comments. Go on, show me up. I won't mind.

Happy fourth of July!

Our Enthusiasm Was, In Fact, Unlimited

It's not every Monday night one finds oneself surrounded by bodies and balloons, dancing with abandon to a strong drum beat. Less than a foot in front of me, Paul DeGeorge of Harry and the Potters has one arm wrapped around a sweaty, grinning college girl and the other arm holding a microphone between his face and another's, both mouths belting out the word "love" and spraying spit everywhere. I'm singing along at the top of my lungs and dancing as though I'm in the Peanuts Christmas special, pausing when I feel a hand tousle my hair. I turn around in time to see Joe DeGeorge's Gryffindor tie fly over his shoulder as he reaches out to connect with more members of the crowd. Above all of us, several inflatable lobsters are circulating amongst a sea of balloons.

That was the end of the Unlimited Enthusiasm show at the Black Cat in Washington, D.C., and all members of Camp Jump and Yell were feeling both the energy and the love.

I've seen Harry and the Potters five times now, and though last night's performance doesn't beat out last summer's show at the Starlight Ballroom in Philadelphia as my personal favorite, it was still absolutely epic. The night began with a few camp announcements and two raps from Dumbledore, which were hysterical and set the tone for the rest of the event.



The crowd was definitely more wizarding nerds than any other type, and I felt a bit bad that Uncle Monsterface (who really kicked off the night) didn't get a better reception. The videos they played throughout their set were amusing, and my friend Nicole and I agreed that our faces hurt from grinning by the time their performance had ended. "Lobster Building" was particularly fun, and the ten seconds of "In My Room Of Requirement {It's Always Christmas)" got a lot of cheers (at least from me).

Math the Band played next, and their manic performance energy and frantic instrumental attacks had the crowd writhing almost instantly. Their enthusiasm is positively infectious, as is their music, and the epic finale of "Four Square Or Square Ball" and its ultimate patriotic breakdown was brilliant.

Harry and the Potters were as fun as ever, singing their oldest songs at triple the album speed and bringing new improv stories to the table. Joe rocked a Gryffindor-colored sax during "Save Ginny Weasley From Dean Thomas," and there was fun crowd interaction during "The Human Hosepipe" (Oh no you didn't!). Plus we sang "Hagrid's Beard" at least five times. It was everything I expected, and just short of everything I had hoped for.



All in all, I must say it did feel more like a regular show than I had expected. The video screen was nice and the commercials/sketches gave the audience something to watch while the bands switched equipment, but the 'camp activities' were limited to face painting, voter registration, a photobooth and the post office (which I do think is a brilliant idea). Some of the comments on the CJY forum make it seem like other venues are getting different activities, so I suppose it's just luck of the draw.

Still, I'm not complaining. The bands were great, the crowd was fun, and the enthusiasm was unlimited. I hope to see more imaginative tours like the Unlimited Enthusiasm Expo in the future, because last night was a lot of fun.

And for the record, I think band members should personally distribute nametags before all shows. It was the perfect way to set the tone for the night.

Find my full photo collection from the show in color HERE or HERE in black and white.

Go, Speed Racer! Go!

My taste in movies seems to be evolving -- I've grown from only watching animated children's movies to action-adventure films for pre-teens! And so it is that I can proclaim without shame: Speed Racer is freaking amazing.

It's not a good movie, in the way most people judge movies. The plot is weak, it all takes way too long, the special effects are overkill and the dialogue is pretty lame. So why do I love Speed Racer?

Simple: It is a damn good time.



I've been embracing the idea of fun for the sake of fun lately (Avril Lavigne is the shining example). There really is nothing wrong with just enjoying yourself. Speed Racer was full of bright colors and unbelievable moments that are absolutely a laugh. One of my favorite scenes is after a ninja attack - yes, you read that right - meant to take out our heroes before day two of the big cross-country race. After the Racer family has forcibly taken down the villian in question, Trixie goes, "Oh my god... was that a ninja?" To which Pops responds, "More like a non-ja. Terrible what passes for a ninja these days."

You can't call that brilliant screenwriting or fantastic acting. But the whole situation is so ridiculous that if you step back from the sneering, judgemental film-critic you wish you were, you'll have a big laugh and simply shake your head. It's a fun moment, and that's what the movie is good for.

To be fair, I was a Speed Racer fan before the movie and so some of the little things thrilled me; the sound effects of the Mach 5 and the theme music kicking in every now and again had me grinning. But the movie is not the cartoon, and I judge it quite separately. Both are completely ridiculous, but in their own awesome ways.

So while yes, the film does go on longer than it needs - you feel like it should be over after the cross-country race, but it wouldn't be Speed Racer without the Grand Prix! - it has enough fun in it to keep the thing alive. The colors are vibrant, the races are fairly fast paced, and there are enough bizarre moments to make it worth your while.

Whenever the DVD is released, I'll buy it without hesitation. I'm extremely interested in hearing commentary throughout the movie; I'm a commentary whore to begin with, but it will be interesting to hear thoughts on the film from the creators.

Plus, I'll be able to hear Speed shout, "Get that weak shit off my track!" until I die of laughter. That alone is worth $20.

If you haven't seen the movie yet, it's still showing at some theatres. Catch it in IMAX if you can!

Unrelated: I seem to have this pattern of posting blogs for one month, then taking two months off. This will have changed by September. I'm back for now!

A Dulcimer Genius

I no longer keep it a secret that I casually attempt to play the hammered dulcimer, an old folk instrument of questionable origin. Looking like a harp laid on its side, the dulcimer is played with two wooden hammers which are padded differently depending on desired sound. It creates the most amazing sounds, and its an instrument with incredible resonance.

While it's fairly easy for beginners to pick up, it takes time and practice to play properly and with any speed. The hammered dulcimer has brilliant potential to be used as an original and innovative instrument - here I'm thinking Chris Thile's incredible command and use of the mandolin - but I've rarely encountered instrumentalists who seem to bring the dulcimer to a new level.

That is why Max ZT is my hero.

He plays with speed, precision, grace and originality... not a bad combination, and as a result his original compositions are amazing to both listen to and watch. "Juice" is one of the few dulcimer pieces that really digs deep into my soul and makes me want to create music that sounds even half as good; this video is his senior performance at Bard College.



There's a reason Max was the 2005 National Hammered Dulcimer Champion, and that's it.

I only say "Juice" is my favorite because I haven't had the chance to hear much more of his music. But that will change soon: he has The Duo Project: Two Roofs (with Luke Notary on percussion) releasing on April 29. I'm very excited to hear what fresh sounds it brings, because I'm sure it will be a treat to listen to. It's only $10 -- definitely a deal.

I'm such a sucker for unique instruments, and I feel like I've barely explored the world of the hammered dulcimer. I'm sure Max ZT isn't the only creative player out there, he's just the only one I've seen (thanks to the Internet for that).

Instruments are amazing. More people should experience them.

Metro Station

I have few guily pleasures, but the pop-rock band Metro Station definitely counts as one of them. Chock full of underage-sex-obsessed lyrics and catchy, danceable beats and melodies, the band plays the kind of music nobody should like but everyone does.

Okay, not everyone; Metro Station is very juvenile and oftentimes very cliche ("California" is a song written by every high school band in the history of time; ironically, they live there). But that doesn't take away from the fact that their songs are absolutely catchy and have more than the potential to be stuck in your head for hours. They have a usually well-produced sound, mixing guitarist Trace Cyrus's spoken vocals with the sweeter melodies of lead vocalist Mason Musso. Fun trivia: the two met on the set of Hannah Montana, that obnoxiously popular show in which their younger siblings both star.

Rounding out the band lineup are the equally skilled Blake Healy on keys and Anthony Improgo on drums. The band isn't amazing, but their debut self-titled album is a great choice for long road trips that need some danceable beats. So as long as you don't mind singing along to lyrics about wishing you were older so your sexual acts wouldn't be illegal, it's a fair addition to your iTunes collection.